In fact, as far as relationships go it’s one of the biggest moves you can make outside of getting married. My girlfriend and I, after many months of planning and deliberation, have decided to take a big step and move in together come June 1, 2009.  We sign the lease tonight. I feel like I should be nervous or scared, but it’s quite the opposite. I feel very comfortable that I’m making the right decision. I know that when things are rocky she’s more than willing to communicate and work things out, and that’s all I can ask for.

This isn’t my first time shacking up with another woman. Obviously, the first one failed but I learned quite a bit about myself and I feel so much better going into it this time because I have a pretty good idea of what to expect. We were smart enough to realize that from time to time we are going to need our own space and didn’t want to feel like we lived on top of each other. Because of that, we decided we wouldn’t move into anything less than a 3 bedroom property.

Individually, I know that I still have a lot of work to do on my own and day by day I’m getting better and moving to the place I need to be.  For the first time in a long time I feel like I have control. I see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Beyond everything I’ve mentioned so far, I love the girl and my hope is to marry her one day. Moving in is the next step in the process and I couldn’t be happier. Wish me luck!

But then something broke loose. I set my goals for the next year. I’m working on short term goals. Overall, I feel like I’m on the correct road to where I want to be.  I might not be on the road, but I’m at least on the one that connects to the super highway of contentment. For now, that’s all I can really ask.

I feel a slight bit of freedom inside of my body and mind and I love it. True, it’s only been a few days of this outlook, but I know it’s possible if I just work for it. I can do whatever want, including be happy if I just put in the effort.

Anyway, I’m not sure if I’ve picked up a dedicated reader or two at this point, but I promise all the serious BS be put on the back burner soon enough. I’m working on coming up with a “featured post” schedule for each day of the week.  That way I’ll have at least one post everyone can expect, plus leave the door open for improvising.  Most likely, I’ll have the new schedule in place by next Monday.

Tomorrow, it begins.

After a long, long, LONG regular season, one of the best playoffs in all of sports begins tomorrow. I love the NHL playoffs. I especially love the NHL playoffs when my Pittsburgh Penguins are involved.

It was a rocky season, but Bylsma and the boys ended the season about as strong as you can. It was only about 2 months ago they were out of the playoff picture in 10th place. Tomorrow, they take on the panzies from the other side of the state as the fourth seed.

If you are a fan of the NHL, or hell, even if you just want a chance to win some cool prizes, head over to Rinkotology and fill out a bracket for free.  The boys at ThePensblog have put together this contest. All you have to do is fill out a bracket, and if you’d like you can donate a buck or two to the Mario Lemieux Foundation. Their goal is to raise $10,066 and they are almost there.

Who do you have in the Cup? I’m going with a rematch of last year’s matchup. Pens vs Wings!

One of the things my girlfriend suggested I work on was becoming more pro-active and less dependent on other people. I agreed 100% with her and in the few days since we’ve had that conversation I’ve done my best to take things upon myself when it came to getting things done.

I have to say, it feels good. Going out and getting instead of waiting to be told makes me feel like I have a whole new level of control that I’m not used to having. In fact, I felt so good about it I reached out to my girlfriend for further ideas of improvement she could suggest. It wasn’t even a month ago that the my mind was completely closed to change. For me to hear what she was asking of me was a big change in and of itself. But for me to seek out help on my own…that’s a big change and one I’m happy to see.

The past few days have been treating me really well. Here’s hoping the trend continues and that I keep the same enthusiasm for improvement for the rest of my life.  I know there will be ups and downs, but I’m starting to see that I have a lot more control over things than I ever (cared to?) realize.

Her lyrics really make you think. Her voice is very unique and her band is pretty fantastic. Here’s one of her more “commercial” type sounding songs.

If you liked that one, take a listen to this one as well. The lyrics are pretty powerful stuff.

Have a good weekend!

-DS82

Without a doubt my most used app is the Lose it! application. I’ve been wanting to keep track of my eating habits for years now but never really came across a convinient way to do it. That all changed when I downloaded Lose it! for free a few weeks ago. In fact, I haven’t missed inputting a meal since.

You start off by putting in your weight, your goal weight, and how many lbs per week you’d like to lose to reach that goal. Based off of your input it calculates how many calories per day you can consume to reach your goal. After each meal you enter the food you ate and it totals up your caloric intake for the meal/day/week.

I can’t even begin to explain how this helps me with my portion control. My whole life I’ve been a gorger, but ever since I started using this app it’s kept me from overeating. Yes, I still eat cookies, cake, and ice cream, but I keep it under control because I don’t want to pass my allotted calorie count. I’ve lost 5 lbs in about 2.5 weeks.

Even if you eat something that’s not in their list of foods, you can create meals and input how many calories per serving that meal has which is very convenient.

You can even input the exercise you did for the day, from running 3.5 miles at 5mph to walking up the steps casually a few times throughout the day. You can get as detailed as you want, or just include the big ticket items like I do.  Once you input your exercise for the day it then subtracts how many calories you burned from the calories you consumed…another feature I love. If I see I’m 100 calories over, oh well, I’ll just go take a walk and get back even.

I highly recommend this app for anyone looking for an extra tool to help them lose weight. It really makes you feel accountable and is so easy to use. Best of all it’s free.

-DS82

I’ve had one hell of a time the last year…specifically the last 6 months.  I’m not going to go into all of the things that weigh on my mind and have caused me to come to such a bad place.  It’s really neither here nor there. All I can do is accept that I am where I am and  do whatever I can to dig myself and get my head on straight.

I have a book that is supposed to help me get out of my funk. One of the exercises was to write down exactly what I want. When I’m done putting in all the effort to get my head right, who do I want to be? And so that’s what this post is all about… In one year, after I’ve put in my time and effort this is who I want to be:

I want to be confident. I’ve gone through life and been pretty successful despite the fact that I rarely truly believed in myself. How much better could I be if I had faith in myself to go after the things I want?

Similarly, I don’t want to be ruled by fear anymore. It’d be nice to set a goal and go after it without fear of failure. I don’t want to wonder about my potential anymore and not try just because  I’m afraid I’m not good enough.

I’d like to learn to trust other people. My biggest fear in life is ending up alone and I waste a whole lot of time just waiting for people to leave instead of enjoying the time I have with them. Eventually, my fear becomes reality. The relationship I’m in now is rocky because of this exact fear. If I end up alone, so be it, but let it be because we just didn’t work, not because I killed it before it ever began.

On a related note, I’d like to learn to communicate about tough topics without panicking, losing my cool and then saying things I don’t mean.  I think this is my biggest goal.  I love my girlfriend, but I say some really stupid shit because I don’t know how to say what I really mean.

I want to let go of the past. I’ve got problems a decade old that I’ve  never let go. It’s time to make peace with that part of my life, forgive those that need forgiven and move on.

Really, I want to live for the moment, appreciate the people in my life, and have confidence in myself to go after my goals. I’ve had a rocky start to accomplishing these goals, but I believe in time I’ll be the person I’ve set out to be.  I’ll keep you posted…

-DS82

I mentioned yesterday that my birthday was this past Sunday. One of the gifts I was lucky enough to get was Antoine Dufour’s Existince album.  I’m sure at some point during the life of this blog I’ll talk about my love of Andy McKee, another great acoustic guitar player, but that’s how I came across Antoine.

The first few times I listend to Antoine’s stuff, I wasn’t sure how I felt about it. It felt “choppy” to me, but I kept listening and listening and I’ve come to find that I really love this guy’s music. He blends that peaceful acoustic feel with what I’d call hints of jazz and that makes him stand out in the world acoustic guitar playing.

What do you guys think? Quick fingers, huh?

-DS82